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Asunto:PAN- Love and Tenderness, Ways to Confront Adversity / Davida-red
Fecha:Sabado, 11 de Mayo, 2002  17:07:09 (-0600)
Autor:Ricardo Ocampo <redluz>

From: Ricardo Ocampo <redluz@...> 
Date: Sat, 11 May 2002 16:43:21 -0600 
To: LuxWeb <LuxWeb@...> 
Cc: LuxWebII <LuxWebII@...>bIII xWebIII <luxwebIII@...> 
Subject: Love and Tenderness, Ways to Confront Adversity / Davida-red 
From Colombia, Latinamerica... 
Humanizing Life 
Dr. Jorge Carvajal Posada 
These documents has been translated to english, with the cooperation of: Mr. 
Fernando Hjarles (Perú) 
€ Chapter 1 € 
It's all about moving ourselves within, about being moved by 
something...when a man is what he is from his heart, when I am father from 
the heart, when I am mother from the heart, when I am brother from the 
heart, friend from the center of my being, when I am a man or woman from my 
heart, in those moments I am a healer, raw material of creation, divine raw 
material, movement in the Creator's dance. Thus moved by love's interior 
pulse, the artist, the poet, the musician or the father is born in us. We 
can cry, laugh, sing or shout, but only if we do it with love will it have 
any sense. When it is born from the heart, any human act can heal. 
Our problem is not law $ 100 or $ 200, nor the 300 laws we are going to 
invent. All the health systems of the world are bankrupt, not only 
financially bankrupt but rather bankrupt from a humanity point of view, a 
bankruptcy of values. Maybe American medicine is the richest in the world, 
but it is the poorest from a human values standpoint; maybe the American 
patients are the most unprotected in the world because we can mend their 
liver, spleen and kidney, or practice a bone marrow transplant on them, but 
we cannot find a science with a conscience, a medicine with soul. Maybe now 
our greatest richness is the crisis we are living, a living proof that we 
are growing. For crises are the best strategy of spiritual growth. In many 
formation and growth schools, when the pupil does not have crises, these are 
provoked; crises are an obligation. If I don't have a crisis with you, it's 
because I'm not moved by you; if there is not a little bit of rejection, 
acceptance and friction in our relationship, the diamond in my heart is not 
being honed, the light I can give you is not shining. Crises are most 
welcome when we can learn a lesson from them. 
Our problem facing a crisis is that we either attack or run away, we act 
instinctively, we have not ascended to our humanity. We live crises in three 
different ways: 
The first one we shall call the sensibility crisis; it sensitizes death to 
reveal to us life. Sickness is there to reveal to us that there is something 
we are doing about our life and with our life. Your pain is there to 
discover that behind the pain there was a lesson of light and love, my 
problems are there to reveal to us, beneath the appearances, our genuine and 
humane essence. Therefore, when we have a crisis, the problem is not the 
crisis itself, the problem is that the crisis does not touch us, the problem 
is our indifference. 
The cartel here is not the guerrilla, nor the government, not even the 
paramilitary; the cartel is the indifference in our petrified hearts. Fear 
has generated many forms of violence, because all the negative emotions are 
daughters of fear. In each aggressor lies fear disguised as aggression. Fear 
is the father of violence, and violence is the daughter of the fear that is 
born of the ignorance of what we are. Violence is born from fear and fear is 
born from the ignorance of what we are, and that ignorance creates two 
conflicts that are at the base of all conflicts: aversion and attachment. 
Aversion is separatism, rejection, racism, totalitarianism; attachment is 
the dependence, consumerism, pharmaceutical dependence, drug addiction, it's 
the addiction to an idea, to an ideology that separates and excludes all 
other ideas, it's the addiction to a religion. We are sick, that is our 
sickness, basically of two things: of attachment which is fundamentalism, 
and of aversion which is anarchy. Fundamentalism exists in the economy and 
it leads to monopoly, it exists in politics and it is totalitarianism, it 
exists in religion, in philosophy, in science. But fundamentalism creates an 
adaptive reaction at the personal and social level that we call anarchy. 
Frequently our rigidity produces anarchy in the body, and that anarchy, 
which is the symptoms, pains, and sickness, is the bodies' jolt to our 
aggression, our dogmatism, our fundamentalism in the diet, in life, in our 
schedule, in our work. Anarchy is therefore the answer to fundamentalism, 
and it's aversion that manifests itself at the social level but also at the 
personal level. How much aversion there is in an arthritis, how much hate in 
a self-immune disease, how much resentment in an ulcerous colitis, how much 
affective loneliness and loss of identity in a cancer. We couldn't really 
tell because those things can't be quantified, but surely, those feelings 
and thoughts, that vision of the world is inscribed live within our body, it 
becomes anatomy, it becomes physiology, it becomes chemistry. 
When a loving nurse caresses a newborn child, after a month that child grows 
50% more than the child that has had the same care and nutrition, but has 
not been caressed. What genetics engineer lies in a caress? What is the 
relation between the human contact, the caress, the growth hormone and all 
the hormones that are under our skin? The skin is a radar to continue life, 
to flow from life, to get in contact. We have lost the contact and it is 
that essential contact of the caress, the contact of looks, the contact of 
feeling you and feeling myself, that is what we are missing to become a part 
of a single network. 
When we review recent epidemiological research and we analyze the risk 
factors related to the diseases, we discover that the main risk factor of 
any chronic sickness is the loss of the relationship support. There are 
entire communities such as the case of Roseto, a small town in Pennsylvania, 
in which the coronary disease statistics revealed unexpectedly low rates. 
The investigators arrived at Roseto formulating various hypothesis: they 
thought the people of Roseto were wise, that they didn't smoke, didn't go to 
bed late, that they were some sort of Saint Francis of Assisi in the middle 
of the United States. They discovered that people drank liquor and smoked 
and had a diet not especially healthy. The only difference with the 
neighboring towns that had much higher rates of coronary disease, was that 
the inhabitants of Roseto had a family, much like the old Colombian 
families, like the peasant families, an open, loving family, where everyone 
shared the dinner table, the pain, life. The family was a solid network of 
affectionate support. 
What was extraordinary was that when the people of Roseto left town, they 
began to have heart attacks. Leaving Roseto meant losing the protecting 
effect of human relations that had proved, in other investigations, to be a 
fundamental indicator of health in general. Likewise, the newborn's 
evolution is directly linked to the quality of the parent's relationship 
during pregnancy. In the region's epidemiology, we find that the prognosis 
of the terminal sickness changes when there is belief in a transcendental 
existence that lives in my heart, if I have faith in a life beyond life, if 
my life has sense much further beyond my body. 
We begin then to discover that there is an imperial medicine, and that 
imperial medicine is called the sense of life. We can live life in many 
ways, but without sense it is impossible to live a life of quality. 
That sense of life is not in me, but rather in my nature, which makes up 
part of somebody else's nature, it is in my children, in my society, in my 
humanity, in my brethren, in that which I can give to life. And as long as I 
have something to give to life and somebody that opens his arms to receive 
that gift, my life has sense. When I can no longer give what I am, what I 
have, of my life, not only what I know but also what I feel, my feelings 
towards life, then life starts losing sense. 
Love is that invisible, miraculous substance which maintains the bridge of 
the relationship that makes us one single body, one single humanity that 
establishes in the doctor-patient relationship a therapeutic relationship, 
but that also turns all human relationships into therapeutic relationships, 
all my relationships are therapeutic, in a positive or negative sense. The 
therapeutic aspect is given by the relationship itself; it is the quality of 
my relationship. 
Frequently it is not the aspirin, it is my heart's smile which flourishes in 
my lips, frequently it is the embrace, it is the loving welcome, it is the 
food I prepare, it is the understanding look I give you, it is my silence, 
my silent company, my noiseless solidarity. 
The therapeutic part is not my judgement, nor my diagnosis, nor my 
prognosis, the therapeutic part is always present because life and love are 
always conjugated in the present tense, life does not exist in the future 
nor in the past, but here and now, in the unique moment in which I can give 
myself completely. 
In this way we begin to discover that our first crisis is of sensibility. If 
we awaken to sensibility, to the capacity of moving ourselves from within, 
from our hearts, if I take your image to my heart, as the Tibetan masters 
do, and I feel it within my heart and I caress it from my heart, and I live 
your pain in my heart, that is terribly therapeutic and we know it. This is 
part of an ancient medicine, the only universal medicine in all cultures, 
which is called sanación. This is not the patrimony of doctors but of a 
medical system that is a strategy of adaptation and survival of an entire 
We believe that the medical systems are the systems of the health workers, 
but this is not true, the medical systems are systems of belief and science 
is only a small part of the medical system. My concept and vision of the 
world determines my attitude vis-a-vis life, my habits in daily life are the 
main cause of my diseases. 70% of our diseases depend on our lifestyles, 
then what are we doing building more hospitals, with larger budgets, with 
more health programs? If the health program is awakening our interior 
doctor, it is awakening the conscience of what you are, it is awakening your 
capacity of being moved, it is taking you and becoming one again with your 
brother and your son, it is beginning to cure life and cure the earth from 
your interior, it is not curing the universe without, it is curing the 
universe within, it is not conquering the guerrilla nor the paramilitary, 
but rather caressing the warrior that each one has in his heart, the 
paramilitary that each one has in his heart. Confronting them in dependence 
or in permanent hate makes our body be the battlefield of all the social 
commotion of fear, of terror, of aggression or violence that is developing. 
The problem is not occurring in the oriental plains, or in the zone of 
distension, or in Plaza Bolivar or in Rwanda, the problem is here and now, 
alive in our hearts and when we awaken those hearts to humanity, we begin to 
awaken tenderness. Tenderness is that bland, fluid, transparent, innocent 
and unconditional quality that seeps from the heart when at last, without 
masks, you are able to give what you have, what you are. 
In tenderness, you cannot give nothing more and nothing less than your life; 
in tenderness you do not calculate. You don't think I'm going to be tender, 
you don't imagine that, you are tender because it comes out naturally, it 
flows from you and it flows from you with all your body, with all your soul, 
not just with words. It flows from your very own eyes, it covers you with 
the music of your life. Look at a boy that is tender and is tender par 
excellence; a boy lives an emotion with all his body, all his body moans, 
shudders, weeps, all his body turns mellow, bland and vulnerable in the 
moment of tenderness. 
That infinite language that a baby has to win over his mother is the ritual 
of development. He does not feed on milk, milk is only the material 
nutrition, he feeds on tenderness, and the river of milk is really a river 
of tenderness. If there is no tenderness, the milk does not nourish him 
because I can grab a baby, give him the bottle and change his diapers at the 
same hours, but that is a tin baby, who turns against the wall, depresses 
himself, is undernourished and alters its growth hormones and all those 
things that we doctors know because we are not nourished by the quantity of 
things, by calories, no, we are nourished by quality. Even the food is a 
bearer of the quality of life and that quality of life is bottled in an 
essential container, which is the external presentation of love, and that 
essential container is called tenderness. 
But the development ritual is not over; the development ritual is a ritual 
of loving opening and consists that when the child is stimulated, the first 
reflex he has when he is born, is a Moorish reflex, a fantastic reflex: he 
opens all his body, opens his arms as if embracing the whole world and then 
he closes them and hugs. It's as if our programming were to hug, but to hug 
in a fiery way, that is the fire of God's consummating flame in ourselves, 
that is a consuming fire, the fire of fusion, it's the fire that is 
happening each second in the sun, the fusion, and that it is allowing life 
on earth. 
We are here to be melted together, to be united, to enrich our unity through 
our differences, to be a universe that allows us to effect a permanent 
synthesis as humanity. We are here to embrace each other, but to embrace 
with our eyes, with knowledge, with attitude, with thought; to form with 
Nature, of which we are a part, the conscience network that we call 
humanity, to form within the occidental Christian religion, the mystical 
body of Christ. We are here to take communion, but to take communion with 
life alive in the other one, to take communion with the patient, with the 
son, with the river, with the bird, with the flower, with myself, accepting 
my own nature and understanding that I am much more than the chemical nature 
of my body, that I am feelings, emotions, thought and spirit united in a 
vortex of conscience that moves towards the center of the galaxy, that it is 
an aspect of God's conscience too. To demonstrate that it is a tender God, 
that when we are tender, it's God inside us flowing and He can heal and He 
can give life. To understand that we have come to lose life, that is, to 
give all we are, even life, because only by giving what we are do we acquire 
life in the same way. Only when we expire we are able to inhale again. Life 
is a permanent inspiration, a permanent re-birth after that small and 
vivificating death that consists of giving oneself totally through service. 
God we can call, as Gabriela Mistral did, "he who serves"; the entire Nature 
is an eagerness to serve; Nature is service; a man and a woman, they are a 
man and a woman when they serve, when they give their fundamental note, when 
they don't come to compete, but to share; when the basic paradigm of 
consumption is transformed into the essential paradigm of giving, because 
giving is the way to receive. That scale of fundamental values that comes to 
life with tenderness does not wear us down, because if I give you $10, I am 
$10 poorer; but if I give you love, I end up infinitely richer in love; if I 
give you a smile, I'm not poorer but infinitely richer; and if I sow a smile 
in your heart and you sow a smile in the heart of your teacher when you go 
to school and your teacher sows the smile in all the children and the 
children sow it everywhere, that smile, that was like a small butterfly 
fluttering around your lips, has turned into a hurricane of love. A week 
later, love has multiplied, it's miraculous; in the miracle of love you 
multiply by dividing, love is entropy, neguentropy. 
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